It's important to recognize that funerals and memorial ceremonies are for the living ... for those who are affected by the loss of a loved one. It is through the funeral process that a number of emotional needs are met for those who grieve.
A funeral is similar to other ceremonies in our lives. Like a graduation ceremony, a wedding, a baptism, and a bar mitzvah, a funeral is a rite of passage by which we recognize an important event that distinguishes our lives.
The funeral declares that a death has occurred. It celebrates the life that has been lived, and offers family and friends the opportunity to pay tribute to their loved one.
The gathering of family and friends for a time of sharing and funeral service helps to provide emotional support so needed at this time. This will help those who grieve to face the reality of death and consequently, to take the first step toward a healthy emotional adjustment.
The funeral can and does take on many varied forms. Funerals can last from minutes to months and are usually influenced by the lifestyle and values of the bereaved family and friends.
"WHAT OPTIONS ARE AVAILABLE IN SERVICES AND DISPOSITION?"
A valuable aspect of contemporary funerals is their individuality. Whether a ceremony is elaborate or simple, funerals are often individualized to reflect the life of the deceased and to hold special meaning for family and other survivors. A service may reflect one's religious beliefs as a reaffirmation of faith in a greater life beyond this world. Some families choose to reflect upon the occupation or hobbies of the deceased, and some choose to center the service around an ethnic background or social affiliation.
In our society, three basic forms of final disposition are practiced. The first is earth burial, which continues to be the form of disposition chosen most often.
Cremation is also a choice. This is a process of preparing the body for final disposition whereby the body is reduced by intense heat over several hours to a few pounds of small fragments. These cremated remains are usually placed in an urn, which may be buried, placed in a memorial niche, or kept in some other location. Cremated remains may also be scattered where permitted by law.
Finally, entombment in a crypt is also a choice and is one of the oldest forms of disposition. Today many cemeteries maintain crypts for entombment, which may be in a mausoleum or in an outdoor garden.
"WHAT DOES A FUNERAL DIRECTOR DO?"
It has been estimated that over 136 individual activities must take place in order for one funeral to be conducted. The funeral director is actually an organizational specialist.
Here is a condensed list of some of the more visible activities of a typical funeral director.
- Removal and transferring the deceased from place of death to the Funeral Home.
Professional care of the deceased, which may include sanitary washing, embalming preparation, restorative art, dressing, hairdressing, casketing and cosmetology.
- Conduct a complete consultation with family members to gather necessary information and to discuss specific arrangements for a funeral.
- File all certificates, permits, affidavits, and authorizations, as may be required.
- Acquire a requested amount of certified copies of the death certificate needed to settle the estate of the deceased.
- Compile information and create an obituary for placement in the newspaper and/or website of the family's choice.
- Make arrangements with a family's choice of clergy person, church, music, etc.
- Make arrangements with cemetery, crematory, or other place of disposition.
- The providing of a register book, prayer cards, funeral folders, and acknowledgements, as requested by a family.
- Offer the assistance of notifying relatives and friends.
- Arrange for clergy honorariums, music, flowers, death certificates, obituaries, additional transportation, etc.
- Care and arrangement of floral pieces and the post funeral distribution as directed by a family.
- Arrange for pallbearers, automobiles, and special services (fraternal or military) as requested by a family.
Care and preservation of all floral cards, mass cards, or other memorial contributions presented to the funeral home.
- Your funeral director, with his/her staff personnel, will direct the funeral in a most professional manner, and be in complete charge of the funeral procession to the cemetery or other place of disposition.
- Assist a family with social security, veterans insurance, grief counseling, and other death-related claims.
- A post funeral meeting, by the funeral director, with a family, to deliver such things as the register book, floral and mass cards, and to ascertain whether or not he/she can be of further assistance.
The traditional service is a meaningful expression for the family, and it gives friends and associates an opportunity to offer their tributes in the way of flowers or memorials to churches or organizations.
Generally, a member of the clergy or other person chosen by the family conducts a service of remembrance. We encourage the active participation of the family in helping plan this part of the service. Many times family members take part by giving a reading, singing or assisting the clergy.
If the ceremony is held in a church, there is no additional charge. Nor is there an additional charge for arranging and conducting fraternal services.
The body is buried shortly after death, usually in a simple container. No viewing or visitation is involved, so no embalming is necessary. A memorial service may be held at the graveside or later. Direct burial usually costs less than the "traditional," full-service funeral. Costs include the funeral home's basic services fee, as well as transportation and care of the body, the purchase of a casket or burial container and a cemetery plot or crypt. If the family chooses to be at the cemetery for the burial, the funeral home often charges an additional fee for a graveside service.
The body is cremated shortly after death, without embalming. The cremated remains are placed in an urn or other container. No viewing or visitation is involved, although a memorial service may be held, with or without the cremated remains present. The remains can be kept in the home, buried or placed in a crypt or niche in a cemetery, or buried or scattered in a favorite spot. Direct cremation usually costs less than the "traditional," full-service funeral. Costs include the funeral home's basic services fee, as well as transportation and care of the body. A crematory fee may be included or, if the funeral home does not own the crematory, the fee may be added on. There also will be a charge for an urn or other container. The cost of a cemetery plot or crypt is included only if the remains are buried or entombed.